Who has a blind date when happily married and 77 years old? I did!
Last week, a lady I met when attending Unitarian Church services on Zoom came with her daughter for lunch and a visit. I will refer to her by the initial (M) of her given name. She lives in Toronto and her daughter lives in Italy.
Over the years of the pandemic and since then, we met regularly at Sunday Zoom services and had many friendly email exchanges. We recommended books for each other to read, shared clips from UTube videos, and developed something like a ‘pen pal’ relationship.
Blind date
The Oxford languages dictionary defines a blind date as a ‘social engagement with a person one has not previously met’. Most often, blind dates are arranged with some intention of a romantic relationship.
While there are many stories of blind dates turning into horrendous experiences, a blind date can be the beginning of a new relationship. It certainly offers an opportunity for adventure and a new experience.
The blind date last week was an opportunity to meet in person to strengthen our relationship. From previous exchanges on Zoom and over email, we knew that we had many common interests. Both of us had already shared information about our families and current lifestyles.
I invited M to our cottage as she was intending to explore South Western Ontario in July when her daughter returned to Canada for her annual visit. Unfortunately, she was unable to come to the cottage, but she expressed interest in coming a shorter distance to London where we live when not at the cottage.
Preparations for a Blind Date
When meeting someone for the first time on a blind date, an attitude check is important. I decided that I would do all I could to make our date a fun event.
About two weeks before our meeting we decided that lunch was on the agenda and that the venue would be at our home rather than at a restaurant.
I thought carefully about the menu and asked in advance about food preferences. I settled on a carmelized onion and artichoke quiche, a vegetarian dish that I’ve made countless times along with a simple green salad. At the last moment, I changed my mind substituting a kale salad as I found some tender purple kale leaves in my veggie garden that I dressed with cranberries and slivered almonds.
Avoiding awkwardness or embarrassment was a consideration. I wondered about serving wine with lunch. In case alcohol was refused, I had lemonade ready and cooling in the fridge. Since we were meeting at home on a hot day in July, dressing in comfortable summer wear made choosing clothing for the day an easy decision.
Our meeting
It felt natural to exchange hugs when M and her daughter arrived. They brought a huge container of homemade oatmeal raisin cookies as they were also unsure about whether to bring wine. We laughed about the wine question, opened a bottle, and the visit began.
As often happens, we began our conversation with topics covering the drive, the weather, my garden, our new deck, and food preferences. When the comfort level increased, it felt safe to express opinions and show vulnerabilities. We compared life experiences during the pandemic. We discussed book clubs and hobbies.
I remember serving the meal but don’t remember eating one bite as we were so busy getting to know one another.
Meeting at our home rather than in a restaurant meant that we could linger as no waiter was hovering over us waiting for the table to turn over for other customers. It also created just the right informal social environment!
Outcome
People who go on blind dates usually do so with the intention of creating a long-term relationship. In the case of my blind date last week, I’m confident that our online relationship is now cemented into a deeper friendship. It felt easy to be myself and, I trust, this was also true for M. Our conversation was never forced — it flowed naturally from topic to topic.
It was odd to meet M in person although we had ‘met’ many times over Zoom so we had some ideas about who each of us was as a person. I was honoured that both M and her daughter took time out of their lives for the two-hour drive from Toronto to visit us.
We had a delightful afternoon in a relaxed and happy atmosphere. I’m looking forward to seeing her again to continue the discussions we began and to further strengthen this new friendship.
Thanks for reading this blog post. I’m wondering how many readers have had similar experiences of meeting new people in interesting ways. Blind dates don’t need to be restricted to romantic encounters!
I had a few blind dates, and all worked out well!
Success with a blind date always brings a happiness boost. My recent experience brought a new friendship to me!
Dear Jeanette,
That is a wonderful post. It is beautifully written. I will have to read more of your posts. What a talented person you are. And that lunch sounded delicious. Take care!
Faith
Thanks for your feedback. I was a dedicated blogger for years. More recently, I’ve been concentrating on writing family stories. I want to finish these before I get too old to remember the histories of Rudy’s and my family. My grand children aren’t interested now, but they will want to know once they get older!
Oh yes, they will! I’m sure you, like I, have so many things I had asked my parents about their lives, but was too wrapped up in my own activities to ask. It’s called “being human”.
Writing the family stories for grandchildren is great for reminiscing. I’ve found myself in some interesting rabbit holes as memories collide! The problem I’m having with the stories is deciding when to stop!
I have met 4 other bloggers in person, and each time has been a delight and a joy. I am glad meeting your new friend turned out so great. Like you, I hope these friendships continue to grow and enhance each one’s life. You were a most thoughtful host!
Meeting four blog followers says so much about how people appreciate your writing! It also says a lot about the kind of person you are! Your blog posts are compelling because you don’t hesitate to share personal as well as factual information. When we lived in the Greater Toronto area, I met regularly with two people who followed postworksavvy. Blog friendships are precious and meeting other bloggers can enrich life in many ways.
What a lovely event and glad it worked so well. I once dragged my family along to meet a distant cousin whom I’d met online whilst uncovering our family histories. He lived in Germany and was on holiday in the area (also near to where our mutual ancestors lived) with his family. We all met for a meal in a local pub and it went well too, although subsequently, and once we’d uncovered as much as potentially likely about our shared ancestors, communication fizzled – guess the DNA was all we had in common.
The meeting with my friend went well. Next week my husband and I will be meeting with a cousin who I haven’t seen in years. He lives on the other side of Canada and is holidaying in Ontario. I’m sure we will re-connect over shared family stories.
It’s interesting that social media allows so many connections that work sometimes, and, as is your case, sometimes fizzle out!
I’m am Earls wife He. Passed Lin 2015
I’m sorry to hear of Earl’s death. He was a gentle and caring man. I’m sure you miss him every day.
Interesting