Journey Into the Land of Old

Since my 80th birthday a few months ago, I’ve begun the journey into the land of old. It’s a journey of aging. There is no guidebook or map.  The destination is uncertain with inevitable challenges along the way.

This journey of aging reminds me of the story of Hercules, the Greek God of myth. Hercules undertook many journeys in Greece and Europe. On the journeys, he faced the unknown,  unsure of where he was going. In the often violent encounters, he chose the more difficult path  — a path that entailed sacrifice and hardship. The frequent challenges forced Hercules to make choices to be selfless rather than selfish, brave rather than afraid, and wise rather than foolish.

While the choices I face are not as difficult or, thankfully, as violent, as those Hercules encountered, I know this stage of life is filled with transformations. Some are slow, and some are sudden.  My age shows in arthritic fingers that have become knobbly and bent. I know that I’m physically weaker.  My response time is slower and more deliberate. Health and/or cognitive changes for me, or my husband, can come suddenly.

I have a lifetime of experiences and the lessons learned from accomplishments and mistakes on which I can draw during this journey into the land of old.  Over the years, I’ve mastered problem-solving, change management, resilience, and practical understanding. I’ll use these skills along with general knowledge and years of education to navigate unpredictable health and other challenges.

Energy, Stamina and Strength

The reality that my energy levels aren’t as robust as in my 60s and early 70s hits frequently. I wake up with boundless energy and set intentions for the day that evaporate by mid-afternoon as I run out of gas. My brain wants to continue; my body needs me to sit down and rest.

Despite regular exercise, including resistance training, I’ve noticed a decline in stamina. Lifting the ten-kilo bag of flour for my bread making is more difficult. I still do cardio workouts, but they are shorter and less intense. And, I need more sleep!

Small body changes such as thinning hair, more wrinkles, and reduced skin elasticity are evident. My bones are shrinking; thus, I stand 5 feet tall rather than the 5 feet, 2 inches I measured in my middle age.  I have cataracts that will need surgery once they enlarge. When I was younger, I could walk faster and cover longer distances. My hand strength is compromised; I need various gadgets to open jars.  If I’m served water in a plastic bottle, I need help with the sealed screw-top lid.  My electric can opener is indispensable when cooking.

Uncertainty and Fear

Growing older requires courage to embrace and accept that bad things can happen at any time. An accident, such as a fall, could result in a broken bone requiring hospitalization and/or rehabilitation. When I find myself worrying about events that may or may not happen, I remember to draw upon my life skills.  I know how to put my head down and push through.

I navigate fear by remembering that aging is a natural evolution. On her 80th birthday, my sister wisely reframed the occasion as a celebration of attaining old age, a gift many people don’t experience.

Curiosity also helps me navigate uncertainty. Exploring feelings, fears and experiences with an attitude of learning, a willingness to adapt, and an open mindset helps with coping.  What’s more,  I often discover creative pathways through this journey of growing old.

Courage Increases

While energy and stamina decline, my courage grows.  I’ve survived failure, pain, loss, and disapproval.  I’m confident about who I am. I can say ‘no’ without explaining. Judgmental opinions of others don’t bother me.

I’m the white-haired old lady who calls out injustices without fear or embarrassment. I’ve stopped interacting with negative people.  I do what feels right based on my values and preferences.

As I think of past events and wish that I could go back to rectify a thing or two, I recognize there is no opportunity to redo. I make peace with the past by living in the moment — not in the past nor in an unknown future. The prime of my life is now!

All kinds of changes fill the uncharted territory of the land of old. Time is no longer endless! This is the last cycle of living.  Understanding that my life will end someday (perhaps, sooner rather than later) changes my thinking. I realize that every day is precious.

What’s coming next is unknown. I know that I’ll need courage to face whatever comes.  I’ll count on the accumulated wisdom and experience of eight decades as valuable guideposts for the journey of growing old. Meanwhile, I’ll practise bravery while focusing on living every day to the fullest.

Until next time, Jeanette aka postworksavvy.