Today I celebrate another birthday. I’m 79 years old. And, that means I’m living in my 80th year!
On most days, I don’t feel old. Cognitively, I know my age, and it’s almost eight decades since I was born. Perhaps there is a disconnect between my chronological age and the age I feel. How did the years pass so quickly?
Yes, I have wrinkles. My joints and bones creak more than I like to admit. My hair is white. When I consider how many years I’ve lived, I know that number is greater than the remaining years I may have. After all, the latest report (2020) from Statistics Canada tells me that the average life expectancy for women in Canada is 83.9 years although many live to 100 or longer.
Yikes! This tells me that I’m likely closer to the end of my life than to the middle. Aging is non-negotiable!
Reality Check
The reality is that I own an ageing body. Despite two post-market hips and various foot surgeries to keep me walking, my body is slowly wearing out. My energy levels aren’t sufficient to finish my ‘to-do’ list on most days.
Despite the politeness of people telling me I don’t look my age as I am relatively fit, I know I’m growing old. The chosen euphemism might be senior citizen, old, elderly or mature. All apply.
I’m no longer regarded as the sharp quick-witted career woman busy making a mark. Thankfully, I can ‘hold my own’ in most conversations as I read extensively and follow world events. But, I’m more like the well-tuned classic car than the speedy sports model.
The truth is, though, that most of society is no longer interested in my opinions. Ageism pervades most parts of our culture and stereotypes of older women — and men — are so ingrained that most people take little notice of us. That permits us to live our lives as we please rather than following society’s expectations
Aging With Grace
As an older woman, I’m determined to accept myself and age gracefully.
That means valuing the time I have left– hopefully, years. It takes courage to live fully, and, sometimes outrageously. There is ‘joie de vivre’ to be found when I make good choices and fill each day with purpose.
Living with intent is my recipe for the years I have left.
I’ll stay socially active surrounding myself with my family and my friends. Meaningful interactions and activities bring joy. I’ll be generous with my time with my husband and our grandchildren. There will be no apologies for endless bridge games, too many book club meetings, too many lunch dates, and happy hour every day.
I have a long list of goals and accomplishments I want to achieve. So I will keep learning new things; I will keep reading; and I will continue to stay abreast of world events.
I will be happy just as I am because I no longer have anything to prove to anyone. At my age, I don’t have to explain my actions. Nor do I need permission to do what pleases me. Happy 79th Birthday, Jeanette!
Happy belated birthday! And I love your attitude towards aging. This beautifully written post is a guide for all of us women “of a certain age!”
Thanks for your birthday wishes. When we get to this ‘certain age’ we need friends both in person and online.
Love this! Thank you Jeanette
Aging with grace isn’t easy.
Thank you for posting this beautifully written blog, Jeanette, and a belated Happy Birthday! I find so many people our age are in denial, but I feel we have to face up to the fact that we are indeed old. Our bodies are bound to wear out. However, by keeping active, physically and mentally and socially (as much as we are able), we can still enjoy life and indeed relish it! I don’t agree with one of your comments though. I for one *do* care very much about your opinions – the very fact that I came here today, thinking, “I wonder what Jeanette is thinking about these days”, demonstrates this. And I’ll bet that your book club members want to hear your thoughts, and your cottage neighbours want your input, and I could go on…I’m (at 85) in a somewhat similar position, but I have to admit that I wouldn’t expect too many people to consult me on how to raise their 5 year olds, my area of expertise 55 years ago. Society has changed, and I suspect it has in your professional field as well! But you do have wisdom born of experience, and there are those of us who are very much interested in what you have to say!
Thank you for the belated birthday wishes! I did not express my thoughts about opinions counting very well. I know that people in my networks value my opinions as do members of my family. My experience and wisdom is useful to them.
I should have clarified that my opinions, as an older woman, aren’t sought by younger people. One of the losses of growing older is that most people with whom I interact are in the same age cohort as am I.
Happy Birthday, Jeannette! I wish you many more years of living joyfully. While you note that many aren’t interested in your opinions anymore, I beg to differ – just a bit. The way one leads his or her own life sets a strong example that others notice whether they know it or not. Maybe now and surely later, the impressions you leave by how you live will surface in their consciousness. Perhaps your life will inspire them to think and to reject the ageist stereotypes which we both know so well. I love how you said you’ll be generous with your time with your husband and grandchildren. I’ll take that thought to heart with my own husband and family. And lastly, a fellow volunteer turns 81 and shows no sign of slowing down. He and you and others inspire me to live my life as best as I can. Best wishes for a wonderful birthday!
Thank you for the birthday wishes and your inspiring comment to my post. You have reminded me of how much we influence others by the example we set. I mostly ignore the culturally imposed ageist stereotypes and keep going. I’m also fortunate to have the example of my husband who will be 89 in a couple of weeks. Despite the challenges of living with chronic health issues that severely limit his daily activities, he remains an example of staying involved with friends and in the community. His example demonstrates the capacity to age despite limitations!
Take care and give that 81 year old fellow volunteer a big hug!
Jeanette
Jeanette
Happy Birthday Jeanette. Similar thoughts and feelings have been playing around in my head as I approach my 75th birthday in 3 weeks. I love how relatable and validating your blog is. I look forward to every post.
Robin,
Thanks for your birthday wishes. I’m happy to know that my writing is useful. I’m grateful that we met during our career days. As we grow older, we can look back on those adventures and remember what a contribution we made in the lives of so many people.
I send early birthday wishes on your 75th! I hope you have a lovely celebration for this milestone birthday!
Jeanette
Wishing you a very happy day and many more productive, exciting, interesting years ahead. Approximately ten years your senior I know there is still plenty of vim and vigour in these old bones of ours. Enjoy every moment of your senior years!
Thanks for your birthday wishes. Your example of vigor, trying new things, and living life to the fullest is one that I admire. Your amazing friendship touches my heart and the hearts of so many others.
Be well,
Jeanette