Milestone Birthdays

This is a year for milestone birthdays.  I turned 80 earlier in September, and my husband will be 90 in a few days.

When our son surprised us a few weeks ago with his announcement of plans for a joint birthday party, I was moved to tears. Our son and daughter-in-law, along with our two grandchildren, want these milestone birthdays to be memorable.

They rented a venue, hired a bartender, and arranged catering for the party. All they needed from us was a list of invitees along with email addresses or phone numbers for invitations.

I was overwhelmed.  Previously, I imagined that we would have a family dinner to acknowledge another year passing (or, another trip around the sun). Parties are not big on my agenda. Yes, they can be fun and celebratory, but often, they create anxiety and dread, especially if the focus is on me!

When I expressed my concern about the event, our 7-year-old grandson was surprised that I could have misgivings about a party. I remember his matter-of-fact comment, “Who doesn’t want a party — parties are fun!” A book club friend had a similar reaction, stating simply, “At our age, we must never miss an opportunity for celebrations.”

A time for Reflection

After a few days of considering these party plans, my thoughts shifted. Obviously, this party is important for our family. The attention given to planning this event shows how much our son and daughter-in-law care for us.  Our two grandchildren are excited.

I realized that both my husband and I have many achievements to celebrate.

The decades of our lives brought wonderful adventures including long and rewarding careers, travel, parenthood, and a fulfilling retirement. We live comfortably enjoying our home in London, Ontario and our cottage in Grand Bend. Both of us are blessed with moderately good health although we face the reality of aging bodies. A party for these milestone birthdays is an opportunity to acknowledge a lifetime of good living.

Complicated Emotions

Nonetheless, milestone birthdays can raise complicated emotions. As we celebrate these milestone birthdays, we also remember the many people in both our families and in our network of friends who passed away and won’t celebrate with us.

We’ve experienced a cascade of losses in the past few years — several close friends and two of my husband’s siblings  died. Their absences left holes in the list of invitees.We carry on with gratitude that these people were part of our lives. We had the privilege of knowing and loving them.

Such losses leave heartaches but must be intertwined with celebration that we have the privilege of growing old. Not everyone has the gift of an extended lifespan.

Celebrate with Enthusiasm 

Because these milestone birthdays mark important chapters in our lives, I’m resolved to celebrate with enthusiasm. Our unique life experiences tell important stories of each lived decade.

We’ll appreciate those in attendance for the positive impact of these relationships in our lives. I’ll enjoy the heart warming embraces, reminiscences, and good wishes.

Finally, celebrating both birthdays affirms the gift of growing old with someone I love and who loves me in return. How wonderful to anticipate a party filled with hope and love from my family and friends who will gather. This party will be an experience to cherish — a time to reinforce precious relationships, and, most of all, another delight in a lifetime of jouissance!