It’s essential to make adjustments to holiday celebrations as the years pass. The holidays arrive on schedule, but life changes such as moving, death or birth in a family, or a lifestyle change mean that celebrations need to be different.
Adjustments to a Manageable Size
As I grow older, the changes to holiday celebrations centre around setting realistic expectations to ensure important aspects of the holidays get priority.
Making the holidays manageable brings to mind a quotation from an article in The New York Times. The article advised readers to prioritize what’s meaningful and important about the holiday season. “We are all juggling so many balls. Differentiate between glass balls and rubber balls — and don’t be afraid to drop the rubber balls.” (NYT December 28, 2024).
Dropping some of the rubber balls happens naturally with the passage of time. Sometimes we drop the glass balls, too!
People with Whom We Celebrate
Over the years, people have entered our lives and become part of holiday celebrations. When I unpack the ornaments for the tree, I fondly remember the year our son was born as I hang an ornament embellished with ‘baby’s first Christmas’. Forty-eight years later, a lovely daughter-in-law and two grandchildren are included in our celebrations.
Some Christmas celebrations were marked with sadness, including years when parents, siblings, or close friends died, leaving us juggling feelings of grief coupled with the joy of the season.
Our circle of friends with whom we celebrate also changed. People come and go with moves across the country, different family priorities, and conflicting obligations.
Annual Events and Customs
I’m sure many readers remember the formal attire required to attend big corporate Christmas parties with dinner and dancing. During my career, these parties were gradually replaced by holiday luncheons held during the workday. Christmas sweaters, casual attire and comfy pyjamas now replace fancy dresses and stilettos.
At home, we hosted and attended large gatherings involving hours of cooking and baking, as feasting is associated with holidays. Church attendance was important in years past — now, we blend practises of the winter solstice with remnants of religious traditions. Family gatherings are smaller, but children’s concerts and December piano recitals survive.
In the early years of our marriage, the centrepiece of holiday decorations was a live tree — Fraser fir, Balsam fir, or white spruce. All give a wonderful scent but drop needles and require daily watering and feeding. Setting it up in the living room with fickle, tangled strings of lights, easily shattered glass ornaments, and strings of popcorn created a significant amount of stress, as well as messes to clean.
After many years, I convinced my husband that a pre-lit artificial tree would make life easier and I’ve bought three of them in various sizes. I have a friend who boasts that he trims seven trees to have one in each area of the house. That’s far too much for me, although I confess to putting up a second tree in past years to make the lower level of our home more festive. Now I trim only one.
When we moved to our current house, we left all the outside lights with the new owners. At our age, outside lights are unnecessary. I don’t know anyone who likes climbing ladders, and I refuse to pay hundreds of dollars for professional lighting.
Gift giving has also changed. Some families draw names rather than frantically shopping for everyone. We haven’t adopted that practise as our immediate family is only six people. Thankfully, small children still believe that Santa comes with special gifts. Older children realize that the best gifts come from an internet link sent to grandma or a plastic gift card.
I’m a pro when it comes to shopping online for gifts. I also like gift cards or cash for hairdressers, barbers, landscapers and others who help us. How did I manage to go to crowded department stores in years past?
Venues for Celebration
The houses and apartments where we lived shaped how, and with whom, we celebrated holidays. While we were graduate students in Montreal, our apartment was abuzz with fellow students who were away from family and familiar traditions.
In the early years of owning our cottage at Lake Huron, holidays centred around outdoor sports, including cross-country skiing, skating and tobogganing. The downside was decorating two houses and transporting food and gifts to the cottage. Great memories, but who needs that hassle? The adjustment we’ve made is to go to our cottage after Christmas and stay to greet the New Year. We don’t need decorations then, only some bubbly and some good books!
In some years, we celebrated the season by travelling to visit family in Trinidad or Saskatchewan or to visit friends in New York City. We packed up gifts, rushed to airports or braved freeways in bad weather to create memories. Sometimes we avoided frantic celebrations to travel to sunny resorts in Mexico, Cuba, Florida, and Barbados. With aging, travel is difficult. We adjust by staying put and avoiding crowded airports or highways.
Adjustments We Don’t Make
As we change our holiday celebrations, we try to keep some traditions alive. Every year, we make time to play the cherished records by Mario Lanza, Bing Crosby, Perry Como, and the Ray Conniff Singers that my husband collected more than 60 years ago. We host a few smaller, shorter gatherings. We say ‘No’ to some invitations, choosing peace over loud parties.
I bake a traditional black cake from my mother-in-law’s recipe and make tourtieres for Christmas Eve. Once school break arrives, our grandchildren come for an afternoon to make Christmas cookies. We discuss what’s happening in their lives at school and with their friends as we mix dough and cut the cookies into Christmas-themed shapes. We’ve stopped decorating the gingerbread houses, making sugary ginger beer, and baking dozens of cookies that grow stale before they are eaten.
Fortunately, our son and daughter-in-law want to share Christmas with us and invite us to a dinner and sleepover on Christmas Eve. Staying at their home allows us to enjoy the hoopla of grandchildren opening their gifts in the morning while we sip good coffee and eat special chocolates. I’m happy to take a pass on kitchen duty and leave it to the next generation!
Finally, to all my readers, may your celebrations spark a spirit of renewal in preparation for a New Year. May you make adjustments based on current needs and lifestyle requirements with ease and success. May you find joy, love, and peace in your celebrations. And, don’t hesitate to drop some of those glass balls!
Until next time, Jeanette aka postworksavvy
NOTE : photo of 3 trees courtesy of Debby Hudson on Instant Images
It would be boring if our traditions never changed. We keep the heart and adapt. I hope you have a blessed holiday season, and I wish all good things for you and your husband in the new year.
Thank you for your good wishes. Traditions do evolve as our lives change. I hope you and your husband plus the band of your volunteer friends at the park enjoy a Merry Christmas. I wish you many good things in 2026!